You inspire me! In so many ways. I am a native of the Chicago area, but have enjoyed the pleasures of harvesting my own garden. I have perhaps an "invention" for you, that you could maybe patent? for stemming not only strawberries, but also cherries - a stainless steel tube about the same circumference as that used in a water bottle. Push it through the bottom of the berry, and force the straw through. The green part of the strawberry breaks away and the pit of the cherry comes out cleanly. You seem to know so many people I'm sure someone could provide you with such tubing. Just a thought. Try it out first - its how I stem and pit lots of fruit for my family.